When stalker boo, who calls you every few months hoping for your love, gives you the courage to call the guy who has rejected you...a couple times.
Umm...I know I should not call. He told me we were done...TWO MONTHS AGO! But I can't escape the thought of him. I am harrassed by memories. They pick at me, chastizing my insecurities. Berating my concious with the knowledge that new people suck.
Hi, How are you? Where are you from? What are your interests? Shut the fuck uuuppp!!! I don't want to ask or answer that question again. But...my dear friends, I will. By the time you read this, I will have responded to 2 guys on OkCupid, 1 guy and 2 girls on Tinder and be no closer to forgetting about this fucking DUDE!!!
You need time to heal they say...Shut up "They"
I met a guy about 5 years ago, we had good sex and I wanted no parts of a relationship. He was a kind and caring man. He also had a long record, never had a real job, no education, lived with his mother and sold drugs.
Why give him the booty you say? Because I wanted to.
Moving on, 5 years later he still calls every so often to see if his number has been unblocked. This is how I would get in contact with him folks. Not call, but when the SEX ADDICT MONSTER reared her beautiful face. I would unblock and wait...and he would call. I would feign as if I missed him, wait for the invite and turn it down.
I am a sadist, I like to cause pain. Not necessarily "Like" but need to cause pain sometimes. The pain in his voice would instantly draw a smile. His begging to see me reinforced that no matter what, this man really cares about me for some reason. I wanted him to be different, but he was who he was. As of the time of this post he is in jail facing 5-10 years and has called me twice from jail. NOOO I didn't answer and FUCK YOU for thinking I did.
Long story short, I want to call "The Runner" the one who ran. I want to see him, I want to hold him, and I want to fuck him in the ass with my fingers again. How do I cope?
The thoughts don't stop unless I act on them. Him, all I want is him.
I have a dirty mind, debaucherous is more fitting. I feel as if I am a wolf in sheep's clothes. So unassuming, no one knows. No one truly knows the sides of Mistress Anath.
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