The first time I had been open and honest with a lover...and he doesn't want me
So here we are 2 months after I was broken up with through text.
"This is it. We're done. You think you can be mean??????? Well I'm meaner. We're over bye."
Right before I said he was being rude and he said that's how he is....I shot back that I can be RUDE but I choose not to with him. He hung up and what's above is the last message I received from him.
Yeah, he was being a dick. And I still want him. In 4 months I had the best experience that I had ever had and it ended this way??
WHY UNIVERSE????? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME??
I wasn't ready and my mind won't FUCKING CHILL!!!
Here I am thinking about him everyday.
I had never laughed so hard with someone. I had never cried so soon in front of someone. Some friends have yet to see this side of me.
He drew out emotions that I put in EFFORT to hide.
I LONG for his touch. I miss his smile. I miss his condescending tone. I miss his drunken stumbling and slurred speech. I miss being in his presence even when he was pissing me off. I wanted all of him. I wanted to grow together emotionally.
I wanted everything he said to be true. I wanted to be his wife, confidant, lover and friend. I wanted to dance with him at concerts, be carefree and eat barbecue chicken pizza.
I'm a crazy bitch, who has so much love to give. Why didn't he want to keep my love? Unanswered questions that distract me unexpectedly throughout the day.
Will I find someone to KNOW me and still LOVE me??
He couldn't see that, maybe he didn't want to see. He wanted to move on and I hate it.
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